Relationships...

IMPORTANT THINGS ABOUT HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

Having a healthy relationship means being happy together. Friends/partners shouldn’t be controlling and bossy. This can irritate others because they have no say in decisions. When making choices, you should consult with each other and compromise. You should keep in mind that there can be many differences between you and your friends/partners. So whenever you are asked to do something which you dislike, you should sacrifice a little bit of time for the benefit of the whole friendship. Have some quality time together by going to the park or movies to strengthen your bond.

HOW TO HANDLE ARGUMENTS AND FIGHTS?

You shouldn’t be impulsive and let your anger control your decisions. When getting into a fight, take a walk outside and think about what went wrong. Relax while eating something cold and sweet. Once you’ve cooled your temper, go back and conciliate about the problem. Apologize and think about how you could avoid a similar conflict. Asking a mediator for a solution may or may not work, depending on the situation.

HOW TO DEAL WITH OBSTACLES IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Friends and parents always try to think about what is best for you. They will try to restrict your relationship if they see if it’s bad for you. Talk to them and let them know why you think differently. If it’s a religious violation, there is no way to avoid limits because there is no middle path in faith. If the problem is different, invite your friend to your house so your parents or friends can relate. But you shouldn’t always listen to them for relationship advice because they may be biased. They don’t know your partner’s character and intentions.

BALANCING YOUR LIFE AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Always focusing on your friends can be overwhelming. Balancing time between them and yourself will make you happy. Set up a schedule for the times you are doing work and hanging out with friends. If there are some things that your friends are willing to do with you, spend your time with them. But don’t always refuse. Plan frequently to spend time with your friends. If your friend is always following you and annoying you, don’t be afraid to separate from them. Your first priority is to help yourself because friends can become obstacles for important goals.

HOW DOES FAITH AFFECT RELATIONSHIP?

Religion is supposed to be a lifestyle. And if your friendship violates that code, there is no way to avoid sin. Practices in faith aren’t based on people’s opinion. So there is no way to argue that practices which are sinful are not. However when you and others have a difference of opinion, consult with a pious person to be sure. Follow your religion if you want to but you should be aware of the costs of doing sin.

WHEN A RELATIONSHIP REACHES A HIGH LEVEL

When you and your partner are ready to consummate (have sex; do it), be sure of the risks and benefits. Do you want to have a baby? Are you willing to marry? Don’t rush because this is a fragile topic that can ruin lives or bring happiness. If you don’t want to have a baby, use contraception like condoms. But if you want a baby, consider marriage before your relationship falls apart or figure out if you'd be able to raise a child on your own, or if you're willing to support your partner if they choose to have the baby. There are so many risks to having sex, like STIs, emotional issues, single parenthood, and those can have an impact on the rest of your life. Sex shouldn’t be an impulse, but a well-thought decision for you and your partner(s).

WHAT TO DO IF YOU AREN’T READY FOR IT?

Intercourse can create new responsibilities like parenthood or dealing with sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you aren’t ready to do it, don’t be afraid to refuse. It is okay to say "no", because intercourse is privilege for your partner. There are many reasons to not have sex. And if your partner becomes angry or forceful about it, dump the relationship. Intercourse should be consensual, free from judgment, STIs, unplanned pregnancy, violence, fear and shame. It should also be fun, enjoyable and pleasurable.

WHICH CONTRACEPTION TO USE?

The best contraception is using condoms because there is no trouble. They are also cheap and effective and are free at many places, like Planned Parenthood Toronto. Condoms are a physical barrier but other methods use chemicals and can cause side effects. Also birth control pills and medicine are very controversial but don't protect you from STIs. It’s safer to use condoms because that can reduce the chances of STIs and unplanned pregnancies.

By: Arifin Rahman